Messy Me

This is a poem I had written about letting go of an unstable but great relationship. It was wonderful at the time but the emotions were too confusing and we were soon on completely different pages. It is hard confusing mess, but I suppose the best art comes from the pain and joy of life. Enjoy.

I cannot let go of everything we had.

Sitting, waiting, hating, everything we loved,

and everything we shared.

I will not bend over in grief from the loss.

I will stand in this rain, and lift my chin.

I will not cry.

I will laugh in the face of anguish,

and will raise my middle finger to odium.

Smile on my face, and fire in my eyes.

I am alive, in love, and in pain.

Watch my heart burn in passion

to the thought of your eyes.

My speech slur as I get drunk off

our memories.

The future is dark

and you are the fuel

that lights my way.

I will close my eyes and die every night,

and awake in the morning

without you.

I will dream of the world

whether or not you are here.

I am alive, in love, and in pain,

but I am not afraid.

The Wanderer

I

I have walked this street a thousand times,

But I still can’t find my way.

Dreamt of love and open skies,

But my path is dark and gray.

I put my future to faith and chance

To show me wrong from right.

And in the end I can only hope

This love turns out alright.

The street is covered by a black sky,

With thousands of wishing stars.

Each one a dream from the heart,

That hides away these scars.

I push away the bluest thought

To make room for some love,

But without God it is distraught,

Because there is no God above.

I do not trust the light from windows,

they are not warm inside.

And I do not walk through any door,

Because in this street I bide.

Walking forward, quick to pace,

I search for someone to hold.

Though it is hard to open the

heart when it is icy cold.

II

I saw you walking toward me

with baggage on your back,

You offered me an open hand,

But it is in trust I lack.

I let you walk beside me

because I was alone.

And soon I let you in

from the heart you shown.

III

The days you had my trust

has been brought still,

And the openings you left

in my life are to easy to fill.

You are but a small phase

that I can move past.

And though you might think,

‘heart break’, I laugh.

I laugh that I had trusted

Every word you said,

I laugh that I had let you

get into my head.

I laugh because I am

strong enough to let you in,

And I laugh because you

can’t let go of what had been.

IV

And now I walk these streets,

Only to walk it once more,

But this time as I walk,

I carry the baggage you wore.

But I do not carry it with sadness,

Nor do I carry it with fear.

I carry the bags on my back

So I can remember it clear.

That you are a not worth the scar,

You are not worth the tears,

You are the one who caved into

all of your fears.

And I am the one who left you

so you can finally see,

That the only person I

can truly trust is me.  

Sometimes I cannot think of Titles...

Sour words fall from your lips

like my heart fell from my chest,

dreams that were as wide as the ocean

shrink under the glare of the sun.

Stars that once shinned brightly,

through the dark of unknown,

is now swallowed by the darkness

that you hold in your own heart.

You are at the lost of beauty,

for you have no dreams

to comfort your soul at rest,

no stars to wish upon

when your hope runs out,

your loss is your own and yours alone.

Let the light in so you may feel the love

you worked so hard

to protect your heart from.

But for now the only love you may get

is the love you give yourself.

A Day of Nothing

Down by the grove

where I had once drove,

I would sit under a sycamore tree.

The wind would blow,

thoughts would flow,

and the bird sung a song for me.

The sun would burn bright,

shine away the night

until it was time to leave.

Remembering those days

in the hot summer haze,

I would sigh and reprieve.

I rejoiced in those times,

when life had no lines,

and I knew no malcontent.

Missing my naps in the grass,

I can only reminisce through glass

of the days of a youth well spent.

Censorship

Lovely words dance from lips

and unspoken thoughts

weigh down the heart.

Honest expression trapped

beneath societies foot,

We falsely smile day in and

day out, to please those

who can’t see beyond

the glass of our world.

We stumble through life

blinded by our false belief

in an honest person.

We let someone else

take our weight and in

return we follow like

sheep, no longer caring

for our independence

to be free, only in the

comfort of a false life.